Messages found on my BlackBerry this morning

1. Other than the drum/bass mistake on a transition, I'd say they pulled off Stairway.
2. Got the burger.  Workin' on the fry.
3. Drinkin' deer's blood and bull's semen like a pagan.

Applications of Buffalo today

1. Ate a Buffalo Philly Cheese Steak for lunch.
2. Have a Buffalo Burger in the fridge.
3. Finally ran the homophone Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo in casual conversation. (6 years in cranial storage)

Indications I may be a douche

1. Responded to texts with "Super Duper" and "Pre Jaw Wag".
2. Eating sushi in my office thinking I need a poster of a boat.
3. Mumbled during Q&A at the conference center this morning, "meh, talks a good game, but what has he shipped lately?"

Ways I may (or may not) be awesome.

1. Caught myself yelling at the cats at 5am: You may have an eating mechanism but no feeding strategy!
2. I planned my Sunday evening around the fact that my local Chinese food restaurant just got a ping pong table.
3. Bartenders regularly shoot me the stink-eye for demanding imported beer.

Clues that you may have slept with Lady GaGa

1. It hurts to put your paws down.
2. Day 4: Still finding glitter in your pee.
3. You can't seem to get the sand out of your leather studded kiss.