Expectations and why I resolve to change nothing (Pt.1)

Having both given up and lost much this year, I’m feeling that I’ve become somewhat versed in the lessons of change.  I’m developing a considerable prologue having quit smoking, divorce on the horizon, finding spirituality, having lost 1/5^th of my body mass, ad nauseam.  The hurdles I overcome are not that of change or resolve.  Rather they are forging my personal definition of failure, and furthermore learning how much and often I’m prepared to have it occur.  If you are plotting some drunken promise to be made adorning a paper hat at 11:59pm that you are going to “change”, I’ve got some sad news for you pal.  Ain’t gonna happen.  You will be the same, only hungover and now fully perched to fail as you haven’t the history, resources, or infrastructure to choose not to go to Denny’s for the Grand Slamwich instead of running 6K on January 1.  Change is not a vow, but a daily commitment to start building improvements into your life.  Many treat a resolution as a layer to add upon or a component to strip away.  The reality, in my experience, is that it is better to suck at something over time and see the path as something you can get back on if you stumble.  Often recognizing a slip in your journey is all you should do when it happens.  Being wrought with guilt and feeling that you couldn’t change overnight is not only extremely unhealthy, it may be a worthy definition of insanity.  Look, I suck at many things. (I get my share of emails now supporting that)  The difference is that for the first time in my life I’m OK with that as opposed to doing nothing and imagining that I would be good at it. I see that there is time to improve if I only keep working at it as opposed to giving up when the hate mail fills my inbox. And I actually care now about where I put my time and attention as opposed to playing some aloof dickwad pretending things don't matter.  That's something of a more realisitic resolution because I admit these components that I'm building in are messy, hard to measure, and require real work.